Nebraska's safe haven law needs work

"Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"


This is from the poem "The New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus, and is part of an inscription on the interior of the pedestal on the Statue of Liberty in New York City.

A paraphrasing of it might as well be inscribed on top of the dome at the state capitol in my home state of Nebraska:

"Give me your teens, your preteens,

Your misguided children yearning to be free of you,

The wretched result of your incapability as a parent.

Send these, the homeless, angst-ridden to me,

I lift my flashlight beside the hospital door!"


Earlier this year, the Nebraska Legislature created its version of the "safe haven" law that other states have used to give parents who can't take care of their young children a chance to leave them somewhere so that the children can be turned over to social services without parents getting into trouble with the law.

The law has been discussed in previous years in Nebraska, but it took a series of incidents where several newborns were left for dead in Omaha by mothers who either didn't want the babies or were unable to care for them. The law was meant to give newborns and infants in this state a chance at being cared for and loved by adults who are capable of doing what their birth parents were unable, or unwilling, to do.

Since the law's introduction this summer, though, Nebraska has become more of a foster parenting drop-off point for people who are incapable of doing their job and taking care of their teenage children. Since the law came into play, 25 children have been left at hospitals in the state. The number of infants left behind: zero.

Most of the children that have been dropped off in the state have been from in-state adults (I hesitate to refer to them as "parents"), but lately it seems other states have residents who have heard about Nebraska's lack of restriction on leaving children at hospitals in the state. Children from Georgia, Michigan and Arizona have been dropped off at hospitals in the state since the law took effect in July.

The state legislature made a terrible error when writing this law. It may not have seemed like a glaring omission at the time, but not placing an age restriction on this law has opened the door for what I feel are some inexcusable acts by people who are not doing their jobs as parents.

When the law was written, I'm sure those involved couldn't have conceived of an adult leaving his or her 16-year-old son or daughter at a hospital and claim safe haven status. My guess is that they simply ASSUMED the law would be used only by those adults who were no longer ABLE to care for their young children.

Being a parent is no easy task. It's even more difficult when things like illness or unemployment make it difficult, if not impossible, for people to care for their children. In those cases, it's sometimes best for the child to be left with someone who will see to it that they are taken care of in a manner that will help the kids achieve some kind of good life that they would not have otherwise.

But when teenage children are being brought across state lines and left off at hospitals in Omaha, Lincoln or anywhere else in the state, I have a problem with that. In most cases, the problem is not that the adult CAN'T take care of the child -- it's that the parent no longer WANTS to do the job they are SUPPOSED to do.

Parenting is not an easy gig. I was unbelievably blessed with my daughter, who is now in college. We had some tough times those first few years -- we relied on government assistance for a couple of years, and it became more of a challenge when my wife and I separated. Our parents, friends and family helped out more often than we can count, but ultimately it was up to US as parents to make sure our daughter's needs were taken care of.

Most adults, though, don't want the responsibility of being a parent. They don't want to say "no" to their child when the child so desperately needs it. They don't want to discipline the child when the child obviously needs it. Many adults out there are more interested in being their child's buddy, rather than being their parent.

I'm not saying that parents shouldn't do buddy-type things with their kids. My daughter and I used to spend a lot of time at local arcades or putt-putt golf courses doing the kinds of things buddies do. But when it came down to being a parent, it was clear what hat I was wearing at the time, and that's a problem many of today's youth seem to have -- no parent willing to lay down the law when it needs to be laid down.

Later this month, the Nebraska Legislature is going to go into a rare special session to address this issue and place restrictions on the state's "safe haven" law. But the restriction being tossed around in the media is one that I feel is TOO restrictive.

The proposed change is going to limit drop-offs to children age 3 DAYS or younger, which is far too little time for parents to make a rational determination as to whether or not they can raise and properly care for a child. Granted, there are some cases (particularly among teenage mothers) where the sooner a newborn is turned over to social services, the better. Some teenage mothers are simply incapable of understanding what they need to do to properly raise a child and lack the kind of family support they would need to have around them to get that job done.

For others, though, it might take some time for them. They might think they can do it now, but may become overwhelmed by all the new challenges and feel they can't give the child what it needs. I think if such a situation were give a three-month window, it would still be good for both the unwanted children and the parents who recognize that what someone else can give their child is better than what they are capable of.

I'm happy to see the representatives of my state's governing system actually do the job entrusted to them (something we'd never see out of Washington D.C.), and I hope they go beyond the proposed three-day limit to one that is more consistent with the restrictions that most states currently have. It will not only give those who are new to the planet a fighting chance at a good life -- it will take away a sick and convenient avenue some of these rotten parents have for skirting their responsibilities and leaving their emotional train wrecks at our door for us to unscramble.