Differences abound between urban, rural life

I have lived in an urban setting for most of the last 15 years, but I spent the vast majority of my youth growing up in rural communities in Nebraska.

In the weeks ahead, I am moving out of the urban setting and back into a rural community, and my mother reminded me -- as all wise mothers will do -- that I need to be careful as I adjust from the city life to the country way of doing things.

Now if you've never lived in one area or the other, it can be a real challenge to move into a new setting. People who grew up in small towns generally have a tough time getting adjusted to things when they move to the city. Conversely, those who grew up in the city find themselves going absolutely nuts when they spend more than 20 minutes in a rural area. It's the classic fish-out-of-water syndrome, and it can be difficult to get used to.

With that in mind, I have constructed a list of 20 differences between urban and rural communities. I've done a lot of research on this over the years, and I think you'll find it's a pretty accurate comparison between the two ways of life.

So without further adieu, here are Mikey C's 20 comparisons of urban and rural life:

1. Lead news story in the local paper

Urban -- Somebody was shot, murdered, stabbed or robbed
Rural -- Somebody got locked out of their house

2. Time it takes to drive across town

Urban -- 20-30 minutes
Rural -- 20-30 seconds

3. Number of vehicles involved in the typical rush-hour traffic jam

Urban -- Several hundred, with more coming each second
Rural -- Five, one of which is some type of large John Deere vehicle

4. Finger used when acknowledging an oncoming or passing driver

Rural -- Index
Urban -- Middle

5. Your neighbor's name

Urban -- Is a complete mystery unless your kids happen to go to the same school
Rural -- You know not only their names, but the names of their spouses, children, and a good portion of their extended families

6. Number of neighbors you've had conversations with in the past seven days

Rural -- Pretty much everybody in a two-block radius
Urban -- Less than five

7. Focus of conversations you've had with those neighbors

Rural -- The weather, family, other neighbors' lawns, the local football team
Urban -- Next time you turn your music up that loud, I'm calling the cops

8. Of those neighbors, the number you would invite over for beer and to watch football on TV

Urban -- Let me hide all the valuables first, then maybe two
Rural -- Pretty much all of them, unless they're Colorado fans

9. A night out on the town

Urban -- Drinking, dancing, concerts, movies, sports -- you name it, they've got it
Rural -- Go to the urban areas for any or all of the above

10. Dial a wrong number

Urban -- Get threatened with bodily harm if you EVER call this number again
Rural -- Talk to the other party for 20 minutes to catch up on what's happening in their lives

11. The out-of-control neighbor kids

Urban -- Have criminal records and are making meth in their mother's bathroom
Rural -- Have played ring-and-run at their neighbor's house at least once

12. Kids' biggest complaint

Urban -- There's nothing to dooooo
Rural -- There's nothing to dooooo

13. A typical criminal act

Urban -- Anything gun-related
Rural -- Forgot to settle your tab at the local tavern the night before

14. Concept of gun violence

Urban -- An everyday occurrence in our neighborhood
Rural -- Something that happens during deer, turkey and pheasant seasons

15. How your parents find out you've broken the law

Urban -- They see your mugshot during the 10 p.m. news, complete with details about the crime you committed
Rural -- The whole neighborhood knows everything before you get home to tell your side of the story, which is usually nowhere near the truth

16. Home security system

Urban -- Call company to come in and install system that costs several thousand dollars, to say nothing of the monthly system charges
Rural -- Ask your next-door neighbor to keep an eye on the house while you're on vacation, water the flowers, pick up the mail, feed the goldfish and let the dog out

17. Your local state legislator

Urban -- Some guy you've only seen on TV and wouldn't recognize if he knocked on your door in a non-election year
Rural -- Shops in your local grocery store and you know each other on a first-name basis

18. The newspaper publisher

Urban -- Probably never actually worked in a real newsroom, couldn't operate a camera if the fate of the free world depended on it and is only seen in public when the newspaper is donating money to high-profile charities
Rural -- Grew up in a newsroom, still actively contributes to every aspect of the business and is as likely to be seen taking pictures at a local ball game as he is presenting a check to the local Pee Wee baseball organization

19. Biggest complaint about Washington D.C.

Urban -- They're screwing up our economy with more taxes and wasteful spending
Rural -- They're REALLY screwing up our economy with more taxes and wasteful spending

20. Rush Limbaugh is . . .

Urban -- The Anti-Christ
Rural -- God