More from the "Bits And Pieces" file

More odds and ends from the inner workings of the "Bits And Pieces" file:

-- I'm not one to go out and get gussied up for Halloween. I've never been much for costumes and all the hoo-hah that goes into getting myself made up to be someone or something for one night of debauchery.

This year, though, I kind of broke with tradition and actually took the time and effort to come up with a Halloween costume, which you see here on the right. If you look closely, you will see a bunch of baby chickens attached to my body, and I know the first thing that will come to your mind will be something along the lines of "Is he back in therapy yet?"



The costume I created -- with the help of the fine sewing talents of a good friend of mine -- is a "chick magnet." It's an offshoot of an idea I saw on the Townie News website run by Paul "Fitzy" Fitzgerald -- the idea on his website showed a guy with Barbie Dolls attached to his shirt.

Not having any Barbie Dolls around the house (since I no longer have a daughter in the house), I had to come up with an alternative. Originally, I had planned on going to a costume store to find a bunch of plastic chicks, but could find nothing but ducks. Fortunately, I have about a million graphic art pieces at home from my creative sources and was able to find a chick I could copy and print out about 40 times.

The costume was a hit at my poker league's Halloween bash (even if the cards did not cooperate). The only question I had was -- were they laughing at me because of the funny take on the phrase, or were they laughing because of the thought that I might consider myself to be attractive to the opposite sex?

Considering my recent track record with the opposite sex . . . my money would be on the latter.

-- This weekend my mom's side of the family is getting together to take family pictures.

It seems that every time there's a new addition to the family, there is a sudden urge to take pictures. The last time we got together for family photos, my youngest nephew was a toddler. Now that my niece has reached that stage, the time has come again to gather the family together, dress up and smile for the camera.

Thankfully, the family has not been waiting on me to add another twig to the family tree before doing the picture thing. If that were the case, the wait would be an extremely long one, and a lot of photographers would go hungry as a result.

-- One of the frustrating things about getting ready to move is trying to prioritize the things on your to-do list.

The other day, I found myself with about 10 things that needed to be done that day. Being the world-class procrastinator that I am, I found myself walking around in circles saying the following (to myself, of course):

"OK, first I need to take a shower, but the bills need to be paid so I should do that. Wait a minute, I need to organize my closet and get all the clothes I want to take to Goodwill out of there. I'll do that, BUT FIRST I need to do the dishes. Well, the dishes have been there long enough, one more day won't kill them, so let's get the cable box out and take that back to the cable company. Before I do THAT, though, I need to go through some boxes in storage and get out what I don't need. I'll get that done, but before THAT gets done . . . I need to play some poker."

So at least the day wasn't a TOTAL waste . . .

-- The weekend is going to be a good one, and I hope you enjoy yours. We'll be taking the first odd-numbered day of November off, and the next edition of DGMS will be up Monday morning.

Give props to the advertisers on the blog, and don't forget to forward this website to a friend, have them forward it to a friend, and have those friends forward it to their friends. What the heck -- just forward it to everybody in your e-mail address book, and let them sort it out from there.

Have a good weekend . . .

Happy Republicans, Angry Democrats?

I'm in the process of getting organized for next month's move, so if you don't mind I need to lighten the box known as "Bits And Pieces" today . . .

-- Are you happy with your life, or does it just suck?

Are things going well for you, or does it seem to be one problem after another?

Is the glass half full with more water one the way, or half empty with a leak in the bottom?

The Pew Research Center has done a study on people's attitudes toward life and their political leanings, and what they have found is the following:

** Republicans are happy and optimistic

** Democrats are angry and pessimistic

According to a story in the Washington Post, people were polled about their outlook on life, and they found that 37 percent of Republicans are "very happy," compared with 25 percent of Democrats. In fact, 88 percent of Republicans were either "very happy" or "pretty happy," compared to 77 percent of Democrats. Only 9 percent of Republicans are "not too happy," compared to 20 percent of Democrats.

The happiness gap between the two major political affiliations was first discovered in 1972 through government-funded research. This year, there are a very huge number of happy Republicans and pissed-off Democrats, which might explain some of the negative advertising that's going on in politics these days.

The study also found that Republicans think success is determined by one's own efforts, while Democrats think success is determined by outside forces. This might also explain why McCain wants to give tax breaks to the rich, while Obama wants us to dive head-first into Socialism by "spreading the wealth around."

The study did not determine whether independent-thinking individuals, such as myself, were either happy OR sad. I can't speak for others, but I'm just happy I'm neither Republican NOR Democrat . . . and sad that I'm probably going to have to put up with another four years of crap from these morons representing both parties in Washington.

-- Remember when gas shot up over $3 a gallon?

Doesn't seem like it was that long ago, but it was about 6-8 months ago that the price of a gallon of gas soared above $3 and flirted with $4 in some parts of the Midwest.

I remember hearing some talking bobblehead on the Idiot Box saying, at that time, that we'd probably never see gas under $3 a gallon again. This afternoon, however, I saw one area gas station advertising gas at $2.21 per gallon.

The price of a gallon of gas dipped under $3 about a month ago, and it's been falling like a stone ever since. Not that long ago, it cost me $58 to fill up my car. The cost to fill it up a few days ago? Less than $40.

The price of a gallon of crude oil was up in the stratosphere earlier this year, reaching well over $120 a gallon. It's now half that, and the godfathers at OPEC are going to cut production in an effort to try and drive prices back up again.

The lesson I hope we all learned from earlier this year is to cut back on the consumption of gasoline, taking better care of our vehicles and getting more done in fewer trips around town. Until our government decides that we shouldn't be subsidizing foreign countries who'd like to see us crumble into oblivion, and instead work on alternative fuel sources that would lessen -- or even eliminate -- our dependence on foreign oil, it's going to be up to us to keep the price of gas in check.

-- You never realize how much you use your back until you hurt it.

I've had back troubles for the last several years, starting with the time I tried to lug a box full of T-shirts up a flight of stairs back in the early days of my web publishing ventures.

It doesn't take a whole lot of effort now to send my back into oblivion. A couple of weeks ago, I tried carrying my overnight bag, a computer bag and camera bag on my shoulders while lugging a garbage bag full of trash down the stairs prior to a trip to visit family.

It's taken two full weeks and numerous trips to the chiropractor for me to be able to move around without any pain. Sitting, standing, or even getting adjusted in bed felt like somebody had jammed a knife in my back.

It was even worse last fall when I lost a wrestling match with a full keg of beer when I was part-timing it as a bartender. That back injury led to some bigger problems, which ultimately led to the discovery of the testicular cyst I had removed about a year ago. I'm generally one of those guys who just grinds it out and counts on the pain eventually going away -- sort of like an annoying acquaintance who overstays their welcome. That pain, though, was so bad that it had me crying on the way to the doctor.

With a move coming up, I'm going to be relying quite a bit on the backs of those who are younger and less apt to go out of whack than mine . . . or make fast friends with the local chiropractor in my new home town.

That's all for now, folks . . . more thoughts and observations on the Halloween edition of DGMS coming up Friday.

If you enjoyed what you've read here, forward this website to a friend.

And if you didn't enjoy it . . . forward it to some jerkwad you don't like.

Differences abound between urban, rural life

I have lived in an urban setting for most of the last 15 years, but I spent the vast majority of my youth growing up in rural communities in Nebraska.

In the weeks ahead, I am moving out of the urban setting and back into a rural community, and my mother reminded me -- as all wise mothers will do -- that I need to be careful as I adjust from the city life to the country way of doing things.

Now if you've never lived in one area or the other, it can be a real challenge to move into a new setting. People who grew up in small towns generally have a tough time getting adjusted to things when they move to the city. Conversely, those who grew up in the city find themselves going absolutely nuts when they spend more than 20 minutes in a rural area. It's the classic fish-out-of-water syndrome, and it can be difficult to get used to.

With that in mind, I have constructed a list of 20 differences between urban and rural communities. I've done a lot of research on this over the years, and I think you'll find it's a pretty accurate comparison between the two ways of life.

So without further adieu, here are Mikey C's 20 comparisons of urban and rural life:

1. Lead news story in the local paper

Urban -- Somebody was shot, murdered, stabbed or robbed
Rural -- Somebody got locked out of their house

2. Time it takes to drive across town

Urban -- 20-30 minutes
Rural -- 20-30 seconds

3. Number of vehicles involved in the typical rush-hour traffic jam

Urban -- Several hundred, with more coming each second
Rural -- Five, one of which is some type of large John Deere vehicle

4. Finger used when acknowledging an oncoming or passing driver

Rural -- Index
Urban -- Middle

5. Your neighbor's name

Urban -- Is a complete mystery unless your kids happen to go to the same school
Rural -- You know not only their names, but the names of their spouses, children, and a good portion of their extended families

6. Number of neighbors you've had conversations with in the past seven days

Rural -- Pretty much everybody in a two-block radius
Urban -- Less than five

7. Focus of conversations you've had with those neighbors

Rural -- The weather, family, other neighbors' lawns, the local football team
Urban -- Next time you turn your music up that loud, I'm calling the cops

8. Of those neighbors, the number you would invite over for beer and to watch football on TV

Urban -- Let me hide all the valuables first, then maybe two
Rural -- Pretty much all of them, unless they're Colorado fans

9. A night out on the town

Urban -- Drinking, dancing, concerts, movies, sports -- you name it, they've got it
Rural -- Go to the urban areas for any or all of the above

10. Dial a wrong number

Urban -- Get threatened with bodily harm if you EVER call this number again
Rural -- Talk to the other party for 20 minutes to catch up on what's happening in their lives

11. The out-of-control neighbor kids

Urban -- Have criminal records and are making meth in their mother's bathroom
Rural -- Have played ring-and-run at their neighbor's house at least once

12. Kids' biggest complaint

Urban -- There's nothing to dooooo
Rural -- There's nothing to dooooo

13. A typical criminal act

Urban -- Anything gun-related
Rural -- Forgot to settle your tab at the local tavern the night before

14. Concept of gun violence

Urban -- An everyday occurrence in our neighborhood
Rural -- Something that happens during deer, turkey and pheasant seasons

15. How your parents find out you've broken the law

Urban -- They see your mugshot during the 10 p.m. news, complete with details about the crime you committed
Rural -- The whole neighborhood knows everything before you get home to tell your side of the story, which is usually nowhere near the truth

16. Home security system

Urban -- Call company to come in and install system that costs several thousand dollars, to say nothing of the monthly system charges
Rural -- Ask your next-door neighbor to keep an eye on the house while you're on vacation, water the flowers, pick up the mail, feed the goldfish and let the dog out

17. Your local state legislator

Urban -- Some guy you've only seen on TV and wouldn't recognize if he knocked on your door in a non-election year
Rural -- Shops in your local grocery store and you know each other on a first-name basis

18. The newspaper publisher

Urban -- Probably never actually worked in a real newsroom, couldn't operate a camera if the fate of the free world depended on it and is only seen in public when the newspaper is donating money to high-profile charities
Rural -- Grew up in a newsroom, still actively contributes to every aspect of the business and is as likely to be seen taking pictures at a local ball game as he is presenting a check to the local Pee Wee baseball organization

19. Biggest complaint about Washington D.C.

Urban -- They're screwing up our economy with more taxes and wasteful spending
Rural -- They're REALLY screwing up our economy with more taxes and wasteful spending

20. Rush Limbaugh is . . .

Urban -- The Anti-Christ
Rural -- God