Sometimes it's all in your attitude

I was back in the old digs the other day, getting some last-minute upkeep done on my car, when I was given an unexpected treat.

There is a small mom-and-pop restaurant in Gretna that I used to visit on a rather frequent basis when I was working for the local paper. It was a meeting place for the local Optimists Club every Thursday morning, and there was a young lady who served us that is one of those people you just never forget.

This young woman was the daughter of the restaurant owner, and if you spent more than five seconds around her and didn't come away feeling better about life, then there really wasn't any hope for you. She has such a warm, engaging personality, can talk to anybody about anything and can flirt in a friendly manner with the old farmers just as easily as she talks about whatever it is old ladies talk about.

Shortly before I moved from the community for that ill-fated gig in South Sioux City, this young lady had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She had just turned 21 only months earlier, and the prognosis didn't sound very good at the time. As I recall, she was being given months to live and the cancer had spread into her lymph nodes.

In the aftermath of what was happening in my personal life at the time, I had forgotten about this young lady. I would be reminded of her on occasion when I drove by the restaurant on my way to play poker at a local bar, but considering what her diagnosis was the last I had heard, I wondered if she was even alive at this point.

So you can imagine my surprise when I stopped in the other day for a late breakfast while waiting for my car to be finished to hear her giving instructions on an order to a cook in the back. I didn't see her, but the voice was unmistakable. "That CAN'T be her, can it?" I asked myself.

In the middle of my bacon and eggs, she strolled out of the back to talk with another customer, sitting across from him to see how he was doing and how business was going. She got up from that booth and turned in my direction, and it was like time had reversed back to before her diagnosis -- the same cheery face, bright smile and big dark eyes that showed no effects of what she had experienced over the past few years.

We hugged and caught up with each other's lives briefly. She was surprised and happy to hear I was getting back in the newspaper business, and was all smiles as she talked about how she was beating the cancer that had ravaged her body. She celebrated one year of remission last month, said almost all her hair was back (she had it pulled in a ponytail under a baseball cap) and she felt great.

Once I finished breakfast, I decided not to wait for the guy who was working on my car to pick me up. Although it was cold and breezy -- and I was wearing shorts -- it was the most uplifting walk I had taken in some time. Just knowing this young lady was still around and not only beating cancer, but doing it with the same spirit and attitude she has always exhibited, made the $250 bill I had waiting for me at the auto shop and all the challenges that lie ahead for me seem like nothing.

There have been numerous studies done on people who have been through the hell that this young lady has gone through, and a lot of the studies have shown that people who have upbeat, positive attitudes are more likely to get through physical battles such as this than those who paint the gloom-and-doom picture and look at things from a negative perspective.

I've been listening to and reading works from James Arthur Ray and Esther and Jerry Hicks lately, and their words of wisdom have been a key component in the change in attitude I've undergone during the past 12 months. One thing Ray repeats often in his book "Harmonic Wealth" is the phrase "Energy flows where attention goes" -- if you believe good things are going to happen in your life, they will. Conversely, if you believe bad things will happen, they certainly will.

I've experienced a number of events in recent months that would testify to this truth, from my relationship with my daughter to my success in playing poker. Even during my most recent situation where I lost my job, I took a proactive, positive approach to how I was going to deal with the situation. It would have been easy for me to sit at home, self-medicate myself with the woe-is-me attitude and blame others for my current status. Instead, I recognized that change was coming, positioned myself to respond to that change and am now looking forward to my first day in my new position in Ogallala.

We didn't talk much about how she handled her situation, but my guess is that she mentally attacked this in much the same way, and continues to do so today. Even when her insurance would no longer help pay for her treatment, she found part-time work with a reputable company that offered an insurance plan that would take care of her. She has a tremendous outlook on life and I have no doubt she is going to live a long, healthy and happy life -- mainly because of her attitude.

We all have issues to deal with in our life, be they personal, physical, financial, spiritual, emotional or professional. Many times we put the focus on what we don't want, but we can be most successful in these areas merely by focusing our efforts in the direction of getting what we DO want. Sometimes a simple change in focus is all it takes to turn things around.